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Sunday, May 8th, 2005
8:47 pm

Study: Meanness in Girls Can Start at 3


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Monday, April 11th, 2005
11:45 pm - Article

Hi, I'm doing an article for a class about female aggression, if anyone would like to share their stories, please respond to this message or email me at dreamangel80s at yahoo dot com. I know that this is a sensitive subject, but I know all too well what it is like. Please let me know! Thank you!

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Tuesday, March 1st, 2005
9:17 pm - Odd Girl Out? Let's help each other.

Hello all-

I, like yourselves, suffered through relational aggression. I have read all of the books, and all of the research.

I believe that a good way to discuss our past emotions is through the internet, as I want as many people as possible to participate. Thus, I started a community called rachel_simmons. Rachel Simmons is the acclaimed author of Odd Girl Out and Odd Girl Speaks Out, and both books were basically my bible during a difficult time in my life. Rachel is an educator for the Empower Program, an organization founded by Rosalind Wiseman ("Queen Bees and Wannabes") that brings programs to schools in order to stop the relational aggression. If you'd like more information regarding any of this, feel free to go to www.rachelsimmons.com or www.empowered.org.

As for more information about myself...after struggling through junior high and high school, I began to follow Rachel's work. Naturally, I was enchanted. This woman has dedicated her life to helping us, and all I ever wanted to do was to join her to stop the bullying that had haunted my past. We need to look out for the newer generations. I've also attended several relational aggression conferences, and I have personally met Rachel. She's a truly amazing person. But, it's not just her who can help stop relational aggression. I thoroughly believe that everyone can chip in.

Please join. There will be many discussions, and tons of information regarding how you can get through your past.

If you have questions, please feel free to email me at SportyMJC5@aol.com



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Friday, January 7th, 2005
2:47 pm

I found this listing for a movie called "Odd Girl Out" on imdb and from the description it sounds like it will be based on the themes in the book.There was also a tv show of the same name which sounds like it could be similar but i am yet to find any further infomation on either.

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Tuesday, August 24th, 2004
5:16 pm - girl bully websites?

i have just been asked to write an article on girl bullying for my friend's university womans magazine.  i have read Odd  Girl Out but obviously would prefer not to write a whole article on girl bullying armed only with this book and my own experinces. to start with, i'd like to get a whole bunch of places online that talk about this issue, so if anyone knows of any, please post the link here! Also, if there are any support groups that you know of, let me know. lastly, what were the best books you've read on this topic? theres odd girl out, and  queen bees, but what else would you reccomend?


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Monday, August 16th, 2004
4:20 pm - wow

i'm particularly glad to find this place. I think that girl culture is a fascinating topic, and having been in a girl's school myself, I definitely understand the dynamics of this. When I look back at my junior high and high school years, I definitely regret a lot of the mean things that I did. I agree with all the previous posts - those poor girls are completely missing the point of the movie and hiding behind false aliases that allow them to that which they probably cannot be in the real world. I gave my mom Queen Bees and Wannabees when I was in high-school, to try to educate her and my little sister about what they were going to face and it's still a favorite. For people that like things along these lines you might want to check out Lauren Greenfield's Girl Culture. This photography book is amazing and it really chronicles this Mean Girl experience in a beautiful and sad way. Much love to all the members- i'm glad I found an intelligent antidote to all this pathetic self-glorification and bitchiness going around. As a sociology and communications major, I look forward to interacting w. the rest of you and sharing stories. Much love,

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Saturday, July 31st, 2004
9:06 pm - New member


I am excited that this community exists - I'm just finishing Odd Girl Out, and am really glad that the book was written! It grants insight into things that I experienced or saw others experienced that I wasn't quite sure were "real."

Right now I'm a law student, and as a law student I find it interesting to see the different "categories" of girls that go to school with me and how the guys react and relate to those different categories of girls, the most striking difference being between the girls who aren't afraid to show that they're smart by raising their hand and volunteering in class and those that are demure and soft spoken, refusing to speak unless called upon.

Nice to meet all of you!

current mood: tired

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Tuesday, June 22nd, 2004
5:29 pm

So in my post in this community I got an 'invite' to mean_girls_, a new community which is a rating community....I guess the goal is to be a mean girl.

It is safe to say that the girls in this community completely miss the point of the film that they got the title of the community from, and whose characters they are trying to emulate. I mean I don't have to get started on rating communities, but ones like this, and this even includes the "Mean Girls" movie fan community, just really kind of make me sad because it seems like rather than taking to heart the horrible reality of non violent bullying between middle school/high school age girls that we've gathered to share our feelings about, they're glorifying it: it's a status symbol which one should apparently be proud of.

This got me to thinking...do you guys think that nonviolent bullying which Rachel Simmons and others have talked about in their books and that we've all experienced is even looked at as a negative thing? It seems true in the media and in our own high schools (although I wouldn't remember that as well, it was a while ago, haha) the 'cool' girls were the mean girls, and you got ahead by tearing down your fellow girl.

The question is not should it be seen as negative, because anyone who has experienced it knows how hurtful it can be (and I look forward to hearing about your experiences and conciousness raising that could potentially go on here) but...is it seen as negative? This raises whole other questions about why it happens and how on earth it could stop, but I'm just curious on what you guys think.

Also, check out a couple of the Mean Girls communities...some of them make me want to cry. These poor 16 year olds. Is it wrong that the older wiser me has tons of sympathy for the bullies? Maybe it comes from knowing that the bullied-upon turn out to more sensitive, more well rounded and generally cooler people, in my experience :)

- Sarah

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Monday, June 14th, 2004
5:02 pm

Hi, guys! Just thought I would introduce myself as your friendly co-moderator, Sascha.

Sarah (moveover) and I decided to form this community after lots and lots of discussion about girl bullying, or as Rachel Simmons puts it, "the hidden culture of aggression in girls".

We're both semi-adults now, and certainly through all of the bullshit that was middle/high school-- though not "over" it, or even understanding it.

Even now I find myself engaging in alliance building or covert aggression. I find myself praising my friends who subtly insult or embarass another women in such a way that she cannot blame or respond. I find myself victim of the same embarassments.

Women have always been taught that their value is in relating to and caring for others, and as such these things cannot be placed in danger. Relationships cannot be jeopardized, especially through overt aggression. And so the aggression turns inward and mutates... and we pass this mutation on to our daughters, foster it in our friends, project it on our enemies.

Combine this with abysmal self-esteem, the need to fit it, the intense social climate of most schools, and it is no wonder that we behave the way that we do.

So, let's talk about it. Let's increase and enhance the discourse currently taking place.

Tell us your story. Tell us what you think can be done.

What do you think about the odd girl out? Were you her? Did you know her?

The most important thing we can do is talk, openly and honestly, as Simmons says, "with a door that swings both ways."

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1:23 pm - I just had to see something in the community.


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